


There's a Pain in My Chest

by ifelt_infinite



Series: As It Goes [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 01:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifelt_infinite/pseuds/ifelt_infinite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jess is perfect except she isn't Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Pain in My Chest

**Author's Note:**

> Written for prompt Ache at [](http://spn-30snapshots.livejournal.com/profile)[**spn_30snapshots**](http://spn-30snapshots.livejournal.com/).[TABLE HERE](http://ifelt-infinite.livejournal.com/2280.html)

 

Sam has been at Stanford for a year when he sees the Impala. For a second, he thinks he's imagining its sleek black color and its bulky body across the street from where he's sitting against a tree with Jessica. She'd begged him to sit out on the quad with him because it was sunny and there was no way she was going to let him sit indoors all day without at least enjoying an hour of that California sun. As she liked to tell him, "You can’t come to California and not soak in some of that sun. Why else would you choose to come out here when you're from Kansas?" He doesn't tell her he was in Nevada when he left and that he caught a bus because his father wasn't going to take him and he couldn't ask Dean.

The Impala is too far for him to see into the windows. He can't tell if it's Dad or Dean. He keeps in a surge of rage at the thought it could be his father. John’s the one that told him to stay gone. He doesn’t have the right to be checking up on him.

If its Dean, well, fuck him for showing up and not telling him. He misses Dean and he knows that dean has got to miss him. But Dean’s stubborn and after the whole fight with John before leaving and begging Dean to come with him, Dean isn’t going to the one to reconcile. Dean had said no. That he couldn’t let Dad hunt on his own. That John needed his help more than Sam did.

He's not even sure if it's their Impala. Could be someone else.

Sam's been staring for so long that he hasn't been paying attention to what Jess has been saying and she's grabbed his shoulder and started shaking him.

"Sorry," he says. "What were you saying?"

When he looks again, the Impala's gone.

\--

Sam meets Jess through Brady who says Sam’s a stick in the mud and if he’s not going to get laid when they go out, he might as well find a pretty girl to go on his arm. She's gorgeous and she's in his art history course. She's has long wavy blonde hair and a really nice body. She’s not too busty, but she has curves in the right places. She has a smile that could light up a room and her intelligence rivals his own.

But that's not what attracts him to Jess.

It's the full lips and pretty light green eyes. It's her birthday, January 24, and her secret love for mullet rock. It’s her affinity to make bad jokes and how she’d rather have a beer than some fruity little drink. It’s how she can gobble down a bacon cheeseburger likes it’s nobody’s business.

She's like Dean in female form. Except she isn't Dean, so it make it hurt ten times more.

He's just getting back to the apartment from a night out at the bar with Brady and some of his other friends. Jess has gone home for the weekend to visit family and Brady only makes sure he makes it into the door without stumbling before he leaves.

He pulls the fridge open and grabs for a beer. He's wasted and he really shouldn't be drinking anymore, but he doesn't care because all he can think about is Dean because the bar seemed to think it was a good idea to blast Led Zeppelin all night.

He pops the cap of the beer and stumbles his way into the living room. His phone falls out of his pocket and clatters onto the floor. He picks it up, punches the buttons to get to his contact list and selects Dean's number. As he sets the phone against his ear, he falls back to sink into the couch.

It rings a couple of times before the line picks up. "Hello?" comes Dean's smooth voice."Sam?"

"Hey," Sam says and then chokes down a few gulps of his beer.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Sam's taken aback for a second because Dean's acting like he can't call just to talk; like something has to be wrong for him to call. Then, through his alcohol laden mind, he realizes that he hasn't called Dean in six months. Of course Dean thinks something is wrong.

"Sammy? You there?" Dean's voice rumbles through the speaker. Sam wishes he wasn't hearing Dean's voice through a phone. He wishes that Dean was right next to him. He wishes Dean had left John with him.

"Dean, you jerk. Why did you let me walk out? Don't you care?" He slurs.

There's a sigh from the other end of the line. "You're drunk. Hang up and get some sleep."  
He doesn't want Dean to hang up. He wants to hear his voice a little while longer is he can't have the real thing.

"I saw you." He tries. The line hasn't clicked over yet, so maybe Dean's still on the line. "You were here Dean. I saw the Impala."

"You left me." Dean says. "You left. Don't make this about you."

The line goes dead. Sam didn't think a person could physically ache for another person until this moment.


End file.
